Change My Relationship

Getting Mentally Ill People to Medicate

Getting mentally ill people to medicate is a frustrating experience. Yet, they have to in order to get better and be more independent. Watch this video to look at the real-life options you have.

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The Stigma of Mental Illness in the Church

Unfortunately, the stigma of mental illness in the church still exists in various ways. People hold misconceptions about the cause and treatment, which makes it harder for those struggling with mental health. Some of these misconceptions can cause actual harm because they prevent people from speaking up and from getting the treatment they need. 

It is important to understand scriptural truth about what causes mental illness and what is required to treat it. Whether you struggle with mental illness yourself or you encounter people struggling with it, knowing how to correct the misconceptions and biases rather than perpetuating them will bring hope and healing. Watch this video on the stigma of mental illness in the church.  #mentalhealth #scripturaltruth 

Resources:
Grace Alliance offers mental health resources and groups in the church: https://mentalhealthgracealliance.org/ 

National Alliance of Mental Illness offers information and support groups: Nami.org

 

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Interview: Understanding the Maze of Confusion in Your Emotionally Abusive Relationship

Have you ever felt lost in conversations where resolution seems out of reach? Have you wondered why every attempt you make to explain is met with roadblocks that leave you even more frustrated? If so, you might be encountering what Annette Oltmans of The Mend Project calls "The Maze of Confusion." 

The Maze of Confusion is a strategy used by emotional abusers to derail genuine communication. By weaving a complex web of distractions and dead ends, they prevent meaningful dialogue, leaving their partners overwhelmed and disoriented. Instead of engaging in healthy conversations, these tactics create barriers to understanding and resolution, leading to increased confusion and emotional pain.
 
In this conversation, Annette and Karla talk about the tactics used to block communication in emotionally abusive relationships from their own experience and from their work with thousands of abuse victims and survivors. Their conversation contrasts unhealthy tactics that prevent resolution with the characteristics of healthy communication that foster understanding and resolution.
 
This podcast is packed with helpful information that empowers abuse victims and abuse survivors. They need labels for the tactics that are used to control them. They need to understand the motives that drive the abuser's behavior. They need validation to counter the gaslighting and invalidation.   
 
Understanding and navigating this maze can be challenging, but you don’t have to do it alone. Annette is the founder of The Mend Project, an organization that seeks to educate, equip, and restore all who are impacted by emotional abuse and train those who interface with them personally or professionally. Please take a moment to review their resources.
#confusion  #emotionalabuse  #emotionalabusesurvivor #domesticviolencesurvivors 
 
Resources and Links:
  
The MEND Project - https://themendproject.com/
 
Find Clarity and Healing Course - https://themendproject.com/find-clarity-and-healing-course/
 
"My Journey Through Double Abuse" - interview of Annette Oltmans' story. https://www.podbean.com/eas/pb-a4tmz-1004118
 
"I Was a Covert Emotional Abuser" - Interview of Bucky Oltmans' story  https://www.podbean.com/eas/pb-ebkpt-107fd04
 
Maze of Confusion, Terms and Definitions and Other Free Resources from The MEND Project - https://themendproject.com/resources/
 
Karla Downing's Classes - https://www.changemyrelationship.com/current-and-upcoming-classes/

 

 

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Don't Go to Christian Marriage Conferences or Read Christian Marriage Books in a Toxic Marriage

If you are a Christian in a dysfunctional, toxic marriage, you are desperate for Christian marriage advice. When you see marriage books or conferences by Christian authors and speakers, you are willing to buy the books and attend the conferences. You try to apply their ideas, even if your spouse isn't.  

There is only one problem: not everyone who offers you advice understands what you are going through. Some of their ideas can make your situation worse. You even have to be careful when you seek out Christian counseling. 

So if you have more than a few minor marriage problems, you are struggling with addiction, abuse, affairs, narcissism, manipulation, mental illness, emotional abandonment, or other complex,  dysfunctional, and toxic dynamics, be careful. Don't go to Christian marriage conferences or read Christian marriage books. Watch this video to fully understand why that is a bad idea and what you need to do instead. 

 #christianmarriageadvice  #dysfunctionalrelationship  #toxicrelationships  #christiancounseling #Christianmarriageconferences

 

 

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Evaluate, Not Invalidate

Self-evaluation is healthy and necessary. The problem is that codependents, including Christian codependents, tend to take too much responsibility and end up invalidating themselves. This video will show you how to evaluate, not invalidate yourself.

 

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Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/wYvGZaLQf6I

 

Soul Ties: What Are They? Are They Biblical?

People in the church have adopted the idea of soul ties. They are believed to explain the strong connections between people that are difficult to break. It is important to analyze whether this is true or whether there are other explanations for them that make as much or more sense.

They are also presented as biblical, but are they? Is there evidence of them in Scripture? Knowing scriptural truth about them is essential. Just because they are presented that way doesn't mean they are.

Understanding what soul ties are and whether they are biblical is good to know because at some point, someone may tell you that your relationship struggle is caused by a soul tie. If it is, you need to know how to break it, but if it isn't, you don't want to be led astray. #soulties #scripturaltruth

 

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Let the Sun Go Down on Your Wrath

Do you believe you should deal with the situations that make you angry before you go to sleep at night? Ephesians 4:26 tells us to be angry and not sin. That may mean you should go to sleep without confronting.

 

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Does God Want You to Suffer?

Does God want us to suffer? Christians say many things, giving the impression that He does. We hear that God brings suffering to make us rely on Him. We hear that God wants us to grow and mature through trials. We also hear that God is glorified through our suffering. There are Bible verses that teach all those things. 

If God wants us to suffer and it brings out so much good, should we seek out ways to suffer? Is it okay to do what we can to end our own suffering? Is every type of suffering the same?  

These and other questions need to be answered, because how you view and how you respond to suffering matters, especially in our dysfunctional, toxic relationships. 

Watch this video to hear the answer to the question, "Does God want you to suffer?"

 

 

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Is It Ok to Want a Good Life as a Christian

Is it okay to want a good life as a Christian? Is it okay to strive for material possessions to give our children a good life? I answered this question for one of my subscribers. Find out what I said.

 

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Are Generational Curses Causing the Problems in Your Toxic Relationships?

Are generational curses causing the problems in your toxic relationship? Some Christians think they are. The scriptural truth matters because what you believe is causing the problems will guide your approach to dealing with them. There are many combinations of problems you may have to deal with, and many options for how to address them. You want nothing more than to help your loved one and fix your relationship. To do that, you need to understand not only what is happening but what is causing it. Dysfunction does run in families. No one can deny that. But are generational curses causing the problems in your toxic relationship? Watch this video to find out. You need to know. #generationalcurses #toxicrelationships #scripturaltruth #dysfunctionalrelationship #dysfunctionalfamilies 

 

Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
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Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/1-Vi2pa2Tzw