Change My Relationship

Toxic Relationships: When People Show You Who They Are, Believe Them

In toxic relationships, when people show you who they are, you need to believe them. But, we often don't. We give them the benefit of the doubt again and again. We believe their lies by gaslighting ourselves. And, we doubt that they could really be that bad.

This gets us in all kinds of stressful dysfunctional relationship dynamics because they haven't changed, are who they are, and don't care how we are affected.  We do this because of the invalidation we are accustomed to in toxic relationships. It is for these reasons that we have to trust ourselves. 

Watch this video to find out how you can get to the place that when people show you who they are, you believe them. When you do, they will prove you are right, instead of wrong.  #toxicrelationship #invalidation #gaslight #dysfunctionalrelationship

 

Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship

Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/5BFVBimFgk8

I Divorced My Sex Addicted Gay Husband: An Interview with Heather Bennett Nuṅoz

Heather was married to a sexually addicted gay man for twenty-four years before she divorced him. Listen to her story to discover how denial, gaslighting, rationalizing, and magical thinking can lead us to believe a lie when we could see the truth. 

Sexual addiction destroys intimacy and trust. It is even more challenging to come to terms with the fact that your husband is attracted to men, and yet the signs are often obvious. 

Heather Bennett Nuṅoz is a licensed marriage and family therapist. Heather shares her personal and professional insight and experience for women married to sexually addicted and/or gay men. She talks candidly about what the primary indicator of success with rehabilitation is and what women should prioritize after discovering a sexual addiction. 

If you or someone you know is in a relationship with a sex addict, please watch, listen, and share. You are not alone, and knowledge gives you power.

#sexaddictiondiscovery  #sexaddictionrecovery  #denial   #gaslighting  

 

Recommended Resources:

 

"Straight Wives, Shattered Lives: Stories of Women With Gay Husbands," Bonnie Kaye. https://amzn.to/4naUKqU

 

Straight Wives, Shattered Lives Volume 3: True Stories of Women Married to Gay and Bisexual Men," Bonnie Kaye. https://amzn.to/42MefPl

 

APSATS-trained therapists who work with sexual addicts and their spouses: https://apsats.org/

 

Be Broken Ministry who work with sexually addicted men and provide a support group for recovery:

https://www.bebroken.org/

 

Be Broken Ministry groups and resources for the wives of sex addicts: https://www.bebroken.org/wives

 

Karla's Resources:

 

Women Thriving in Difficult Marriages Zoom Class  https://www.changemyrelationship.com/women-thriving-in-difficult-marriages-zoom-study/

 

Truth in the Mirror https://www.changemyrelationship.com/truth-in-the-mirror-class/

 

10 Lifesaving Principles for Women in Difficult Marriages, by Karla Downing   https://amzn.to/3JjEw0I

 

Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship

Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/Bg_RFA1OPvY

Reciprocal Relationships

Reciprocal relationships are healthy relationships that are balanced. Unhealthy relationships are not reciprocal and not balanced. All of our relationships should be reciprocal regardless of which one it is. Some people have all unhealthy relationships and some have only one or two unhealthy relationships. Learn what you need to do to make all your relationships reciprocal.

 

 

Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship

Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/hYIMnjKFav8

Setting Boundaries: When Is It Time to End a Friendship?

Not all friends last forever. Some are for a reason and a season. When a friendship is no longer working, it may require setting boundaries. When is it time to end a friendship? Watch this video to find out how to recognize the signs and how to do it.
#friends #friendship #settingboundaries #christianboundaries 

 

Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship

Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/DOT09X02BJw

 

Willing to Lose the Relationship to Win It Back

Are you willing to lose your relationship to win it back the way it should be? When you know you cannot continue the way things are, you have to decide if you are willing to lose that relationship. When you let the old one go, you may get a new one in its place. #dysfunctionalrelationship #toxicrelationship #selfcare

 

 

Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship

Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/D_13DEw2XLI

Setting Boundaries: When You Say Yes, You Say No to Yourself

Setting boundaries involves deciding what and where you give your time, energy, emotions, and resources to. There are conflicting priorities, pressures, and people to consider. We often forget to include our own needs, especially when we are dealing with dysfunctional relationship dynamics. One of the helpful things to remember when setting boundaries is that when you say yes to anything or anyone, you say no to yourself. This powerful reminder can help you remember to take care of yourself, especially when you struggle with Christian boundaries, thinking you have to put yourself last. #dysfunctionalrelationship #boundaries #selfcare

 

Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship

Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/ABs37QbD71o

Stop Enabling: Let Them Fail

You pick up the pieces. You cover up the lies. You pay the bills. You bail them out. You make excuses. It feels like you are doing what you have to do, but what you are doing is giving them the ability to continue making bad choices. Instead, stop enabling: Let them fail. It isn't easy. It's a big change and a new behavior, but it is necessary. You have to let them fail if you want them to learn. Otherwise, you will have to keep picking up the pieces forever. You can watch this video to learn how to stop enabling. #enabling #consequencesofsin #consequencesofactions #christianboundaries #failure

 

Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship

Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/g8p3P1tOohM

Healing Your Father Wounds

This is a much needed follow up to my video on father wounds offering you the steps you need to take to heal them. The original video gave you the effects of father wounds in a girl's life but this one explains how both men and women can heal their father wounds. #fatherwounds #healingtrauma

 

 

Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship

Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/ZgiMlLsAn8o

 

Faith Vs. Magical Thinking

As a Christian in a dysfunctional relationship, you are dealing with problems that need God's help. You have faith that things will get better but oftentimes that faith is nothing more than magical thinking that leads you to make poor decisions. Watch this video to find out the difference of faith vs. magical thinking. #FaithBasedThinking #MagicalThinking #BetterDecisionMaking #Faith 

 

 

Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship

Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/e6DoO2AI4nk

 

Interview: Hope for Your Neurodiverse Marriage: Practical Skills to Change Your Interactions

Barbara Grant joins Karla to share her personal experience in a neurodiverse marriage. They discuss typical struggles couples have that lead to disconnection and stress. Barbara shares practical skills she teaches couples and individuals that help improve their interactions.  

 

Barbara Grant is a dedicated neurodiverse couples coach with personal and professional expertise in navigating the unique dynamics of neurodiverse relationships. She holds a Master’s degree in Marriage and Family Therapy and is a Certified Autism Specialist and Neurodiverse Couples Coach. Barbara’s coaching is grounded in her innovative Roadmap to Hope & Healing© -- a research-based, results-driven approach inspired by her own experiences within neurodiverse marriage and family life. Passionate about helping individuals and couples heal, grow, and determine the sustainability of their relationships, Barbara brings empathy and insight to her work. She has been featured on popular podcasts such as Neurodiverse Love, Your Neurodiverse Relationship with Jodi Carlton, and The Neurodiverse Christian Couples Podcast. Additionally, she is the editor and a contributing author of "Uniquely Us: Gracefully Navigating the Maze of Neurodiverse Marriage, Autism, and Faith." Barbara currently cohosts The Neurodiverse Couples “Coaches’ Corner” Podcast.

 

Barbara Grant's Website and contact: https://bg-hc.com/

 

Purchase Uniquely Us: Gracefully Navigating the Maze of Neurodiverse Marriage, Autism, and Faith by Rev. Dr. Stephanie C. Holmes, Rev. Dan Holmes, et al. on Amazon: https://amzn.to/3IAWzPF

Is there Cross-Over of Porn Use/Sex Addiction in Autistic Men with Dr. Janice Caudill

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/is-there-cross-over-of-porn-use-sex-addiction-in/id1579715646?i=1000720576734

Porn & Sex Addiction, Sexuality & Autism with Candice Christiansen

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/porn-sex-addiction-sexuality-autism-with-candice/id1579715646?i=1000721491068

What Even is Healthy Christian Masculinity & Sexuality? with Dr. Andrew Bauman

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/what-even-is-healthy-christian-masculinity-sexuality/id1579715646?i=1000722489643

Want TOTAL Intimacy in Your NeuroDiverse Christian Marriage?

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/want-total-intimacy-in-your-neurodiverse-christian/id1579715646?i=1000723423035

 

Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship

Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/Ub_Ij6_4poo